Thursday 3 August 2017

Blackout Craps Run of a Lifetime

Joe Bloggs went to Reno with the wife back in 2006. We had free plane tickets to get there, but it was a very circuitous, eight-hour journey. Since I also had a metric shit on of free drink coupons for the airline, I, of course, drank from the moment we got out of the car and into the airport.
We get to Reno, and I'm nearly blackout drunk, but not quite there.

The wife liked to play penny video poker. She cared nothing about the monetary aspects of gambling. She liked the zen of the flashy lights while smoking cigarette after cigarette.

I knew I was fucked up and that she wasn't much of a gambler, so I gave her all my cash except for $100 and headed to the craps table, free casino drinks as fast as I could suck them down.

At the craps table, I throw $15 down on three-way craps. Comes up two. If I remember my craps math correctly, I took down $140. I changed that into a black, a green, and three reds. Went back to the wifey and put the black and green in her purse.

I don't much remember what happened from that point until my wife comes up to me about midnight local time. This is 2 am our time. It's been a long day, and she says she's beat and going to bed.

I plead with her to let me have $100 to play poker. She sighs and says ok. I've got $100 in my pocket and God knows how many free casino beers in my gut and head to the poker table. Lowly 2/4 limit (this no limit ESPN bullshit hadn't quite taken off yet).

I lasted until 6 am. I was down to fifty cents and begged the cocktail waitress for one more beer before I took the walk of loser shame up to the surely angry wife. She obliged.

Cold beer in hand, I trudge up to the room and pass out.


Wifey wakes me up at 11. I'm hazy, not even sure where I am. She's hungry, and we're getting up, getting breakfast, and going to look about Reno, god dammit.

I remember that I've lost all my money, and begin to apologize. She goes to get cigarettes out of her purse. There are over $3,000 in chips in there. Mind you, this is in addition to all the original cash I'd given her when we arrived. Kids, we were flush.

Apparently, I had the blackout craps run of a lifetime and kept repeatedly going and putting chips in her purse because blackout me was afraid of gambling them all back.

For the rest of that trip, we ate the finest of foods at the finest of restaurants, had the finest of cocktails, saw all the shows.

When it came time for us to leave on Monday morning, 7 am, as I walked through the casino floor, everybody from the pit boss to the janitor greeted me by name with huge grins. 

Blackout gambling winner me must be one hell of a tipper.

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